Rumination

By Anuran Chatterji
Early Morning Memories

The rain had washed away the humidity from the air; the sunlight was clear and the air was comforting. Plants and trees took this as an opportunity to grow vibrantly, spreading wide.

Dipta sat on grass in the park. The park was right in front of her three floored house. She sat in silent circling amongst the pool of thoughts in her mind. Some children were playing in the park, they were happy, smiling, laughing, running and hopping around in joy.

Dipta’s moment was disturbed by a scream from her house. Dipta got up and started running, she jumped over the boundary of the park and then crossed the road between the park and her house.

The gate of the house swung open as Dipta entered the house pushing the gate aside. She saw her paternal grandmother Mrs Sanyal watching television.

Mrs Sanyal looked at a distraught Dipta

“What is the matter dear? Is everything all right?” Mrs Sanyal asked

“I heard someone screaming” said Dipta still looking around

“No one is screaming here, why don’t you sit down and calm down a bit”

“Where is Bhavini?” Dipta asked still not sure that no one had screamed

“She was here a while ago, then she went away to her room,” replied Mrs Sanyal

Dipta went inside the house to the room she shared with her twin sister Bhavini. Both were in sixth grade of the same school. Dipta opened the door to find the room empty. She closed the door and arrived at her parent’s room next. She found Bhavini going through the cupboard.

“What are you looking for? Did the unicorn soft toy go missing again?” asked Dipta as she sat on the bed

Bhavini who was still busy replied without looking, “Yes, I am sure mother hid it here somewhere”

Dipta sighed, “Did you hear anyone scream?”

“Scream? No, why?” replied Bhavini

“I think I have imagined someone screaming,” Dipta said, turning her gaze to the picture on the wall. It was of her parents. They had passed away during the recent pandemic, so had their grandfather. The two girls were left to live with their grandmother.

The house which almost never fell silent was experiencing a certain time which had arrived much sooner than when it was supposed to.

Mrs Sanyal had tried explaining the situation to the girls. While it was easier for a more understanding Dipta to realise that her role in the house had become a lot bigger than before, Bhavini had given up the struggle to understand it and chosen to believe that no one had actually left.

“Bhavini listen.. I want to say something..” Dipta said thinking she should try once more to make her sister understand.

“Found it..” Bhavini took the unicorn out of the cupboard and she smiled as she held it close to her face smelling its presence, then spoke, “you were about to say something.”

“Nothing.. well you found it..” smiled Dipta. Then she got up and walked to the drawing room and sat on a chair near her grandmother.

“Everything all right in there?” asked Mrs Sanyal

“I don’t know. You tell me,” replied Dipta

Mrs Sanyal picked up the remote and turned down the television volume, “What do you mean?”

“The unicorn, it is somehow going back to the cupboard in mom and dad’s room again and again. I know it is you who is doing it,” said Dipta

Mrs Sanyal stayed silent thinking about what Dipta had said.

Dipta continued “I know you care for us. But I don’t think putting the unicorn back into the cupboard is going to make it any better for Bhavini. She may never be able to come out of her illusion”

Mrs Sanyal removed her spectacles and kept it on the table, “I do not know how you arrived at that conclusion. But believe me dear it is not me. I think it may be Bhavini herself who is doing it to make herself keep believing they are here.”

Dipta carefully listened to her grandmother; signs of worry started appearing on her face.

Mrs Sanyal extended her hand towards Dipta and Dipta extended her own hand to hold it.

Mrs Sanyal spoke, “I know this situation, it is so unfair to you girls. I am doing my best, but eventually you both will have to look after each other. I will talk to Bhavini.”

Dipta got up and hugged her grandmother and went into the kitchen to get plates for lunch.

“I wonder why mom, dad and grandpa have stopped having breakfast, lunch and dinner with us..” said Bhavini

“Where do you think they have their food?” asked Mrs Sanyal

“In their rooms. Maybe I will join them for a change..” said Bhavini

Dipta and Mrs Sanyal looked at each other.

Mrs Sanyal spoke, “Bhavini, mom, dad and grandpa don’t live here anymore”

“Why?” asked Bhavini

“Because they are dead Bhavini. It has been a year. You should get out of your delusions,” interrupted Dipta

“Why would you say something like that?” Bhavini asked with tears collecting in her eyes

“I say it because it is the truth,” said Dipta wiping a few tears of her own

“Finish the dinner please. We can talk later,” said Mrs Sanyal and the dinner fell silent.

At night Mrs Sanyal waited while the girls got into bed for the night.

“Remember, think of good things as you fall asleep,” said Mrs Sanyal as she stood at the door of the room before switching off the light and going to her room.

Dipta’s sleep was broken by another scream and she woke up with her heart beating at fast pace. She looked at the table clock, it was 2:30 am.

Dipta looked at her sister but her bed was empty.

‘Was the scream real this time?’ Dipta wondered. She got out of the bed and opened the door to see her mother standing.

“What are you doing up so late at night?” Dipta’s mother asked

Dipta couldn’t find the words to speak, then she did, “Mom…. You….. I….. I heard someone screaming.”

Dipta’s mother hugged Dipta, “It must be a bad dream, now why don’t you go to sleep, you have to go to school tomorrow.”

Dipta smiled as her mother walked back to her room.

‘So, it was all a bad dream after all, everyone is here as they have always been,’ Dipta thought as she entered her room and was about to close the door when she realised Bhavini was still not present in her bed.

Dipta smiled as she thought Bhavini must be in their parents’ room so she walked to their room to see the family she always loved to wake up to. Her father came out of the room and smiled at Dipta.

“You can’t sleep as well?” Dipta’s father said as he smiled. Dipta smiled back.

“If you are looking for your sister, she is in there,” Dipta’s father said as he headed for the drawing room.

Dipta entered the bedroom and there she was, Bhavini lying on the bed beside her mother.

Dipta’s mother extended an arm, “You can join us, there is plenty of space.”

The warmth and love Dipta felt while walking to her mother had no bounds. This is what she wanted.

“.. before getting on the bed can you get my unicorn out of the cupboard,” Bhavini said

Dipta frowned a little at this unwanted interruption and then went to the cupboard, opened it, picked the unicorn up, turned and threw it playfully only for the unicorn to fall on an empty bed.

Dipta remained silent to understand what had happened and she turned to see her worried grandmother. Tears flowed down Dipta’s eyes.

“It is me grandma… I am the one who keeps the unicorn in the cupboard..”