One morning I woke up to the view of the same ceiling that I have been seeing for years on waking and I could feel something unusual right away. I was not well.
An indigestion problem had left me feeling weak and not so motivated to start the day anytime soon. I pushed myself out of the bed, I took care of my day starting routine and found myself sitting with a cup of cold brewed black coffee without sugar (not due to preference, more for the convenient quick boost of caffeine. Although I won’t recommend it).
The thing about my work, writing is that the mind needs to feel healthy enough to produce something even the slightest in the territory of being acceptable. It was easier in the employed time of my life where I just had to say I am not that well and the compromise was still acceptable and in fact had this been the time when I was employed with a job I would have probably rejoiced as I could have mailed or called to apply for sick leave and after that I would have recovered enough to continue reading my favourite book or continue on with the game on which I had already spent 30 hours in total or simply watch a movie or two.
But this time it was different, with my own work now, it felt like a setback. I did not like this feeling of things being delayed, after all when your road to progress is directly dependent on your hard work you tend to be almost always motivated to do more and think more.
The experience had completely changed, I accept that during my employment time I used to take leave for even the slightest view of the perfect excuse, but now it was just lost time from the limited amount that I or anybody else gets.
My biggest worries are not the absence of success or pending realisation of a vision in this limited time, but it is the abandoned implementation of ideas that I have and ideas I have many, without having tried them all it would certainly be an unsatisfactory end to my story whether it is worth reading about or not.
I am still recovering, and not being able to think of anything better, I wrote exactly what I was thinking and I think a mild headache might have invited itself in.
Written by Anuran Chatterji
A Thought in present
Early Morning Memories 
2 responses to “A Thought in present”
I can completely understand what you’re feeling, Anuran. When we work for ourselves, even a small illness feels like a big setback — but please don’t be too harsh on yourself. Rest and recovery are just as much a part of the journey as writing itself. Your ideas aren’t going anywhere; they will wait patiently for you. What matters most right now is your health. Wishing you a steady recovery — the stories you carry within will find their time to bloom again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perhaps experience is more productive than work…?
LikeLike