What’s the best way to build self-confidence?
Vivek had an uncle, by ‘had’ it is referred to as they are not in talking terms anymore. Back when I saw him, he might have been in his forties. My first interaction with him was when I was riding my bicycle and I loved riding the bicycle, but that day and at that time, the bicycle chain became misaligned and it came off. I was on my way pulling the bicycle to the repair shop when Vivek was on his way to see a movie with his uncle, his uncle looked at the bicycle and at once, put his scooter on stand and sat down on his knees and aligned the chains while I held on to the bicycle. He smiled at me and was off on his scooter with Vivek waving to me.
When I grew a little older, I realised how easy it is to align bicycle chains. But that’s not the point, the point was Vivek’s uncle, Mr Manohar. Mr Manohar was one of those guys, whom you went to with a problem, and it was almost always welcome with a smile and a light tone of voice that diffused the tension. Even if he didn’t have the direct solution, he made a genuine attempt to help.
Me and Vivek in our childhood, our more innocent years, saw him as this guy who couldn’t be defeated by anything. He was like the most capable person on the planet. It was sad the way things ended up being.
What I realised later was that the trick was self-confidence. Of course, if you are not confident of your abilities, your thoughts or intent of being, it can be quite difficult out there.
I used to be that guy with less self-confidence, so I naturally at that point hung on to people who were rather confident of themselves. The biggest problem with this was not that I did not become self-confident, but it was rather people’s inability to accept when I was. There might still be a couple of people who would become surprised by like ‘What? He was able to do that? Are we talking about the same guy here?’
This is why when one of my good friends suddenly started becoming self-confident at work to the irritation of his manager and colleagues, I simply advised him to switch jobs. Let’s be honest here, it’s rather easier to accept a person with glaring deficiencies and rather quite difficult to accept this same person’s growth into something that could be remarkable by his/her struggles.
So, the key to self-confidence that I feel is, at the earliest, find what you love to do and would want to do it for the rest of your life. Bond with it, dedicate to it, embrace its world. Then you know where you stand and what you stand on, the next time you step out there to the endless watching eyes and the endless questioning thoughts and doubts. You don’t need to prove anyone anything, just be content with what you are doing and absorb the positivity and strength it communicates to you.
Written by Anuran Chatterji
Early Morning Memories 
One response to “Accepting Strength”
This is a deeply reflective and quietly powerful piece. What stands out most is how a simple childhood moment with a bicycle chain becomes a doorway into a much larger understanding of confidence, perception, and human growth.
LikeLiked by 1 person