What’s something you’ve forgiven but haven’t forgotten?
I still occasionally wonder, that at what point, one of the biggest discoveries of life happens for each one of us. A discovery surprising and up to a certain point quite disappointing in nature, but then again, it is the reality and thus it has to be swallowed like the tablet of medicine, bitter but necessary.
It happens at different points in life for each person. For some too soon than necessary, for some around the right time and finally those who find it right around the time when claims that they are fools are becoming quite cemented in the minds of the people.
This discovery is the reality of life. For most of us it happens as we grow up, out of the storybooks and the television screens and there it is, behind the all smiling and all beautiful world, something else is hiding waiting to catch you in a more vulnerable tone if you are not already.
When I was a small boy, I was quite sure people were nice, why wouldn’t they be, anytime anyone came across each other they would smile. The lips would stretch and curve into the most identified expression of the world. Anyone who did that was supposed to be a good person.
The first shock came from the television, where in a random show that I don’t remember, someone played a prank on someone and the person the prank was played upon was hurt, afraid but others were smiling and laughing. That was the first ‘no this is wrong, why’. I still remember that feeling. Nowadays with some or a lot of the stupidity that flows online, one gets used to watching all kinds of things.
The biggest shock of my life, I was at fault there wholly, I accept that, but on some level, it hurt quite a lot back then. I was in my teens, ninth grade of school, so yes, I learnt to face and accept complexities a lot later, as evident by this incident.
Me and my mother, we used to visit a shop for recharges, mobile number recharge, television dish tv connection recharge and all. The shopkeeper knew us quite well, he would smile and ask me about school and what all I was studying. So, he was in my good books.
In ninth grade I am going to shops and markets on my own, for buying things required at home. It was simple: give money and you get the things you want to buy or you give money to get things done. We needed a recharge for the dish tv connection and I went to this shopkeeper. He knew me, he smiled and talked as usual and said he would get the recharge done, and I handed him the money, he was like a family friend, I had no doubt in mind.
The recharge was not done and then when my mother called him to enquire, he refused to have met me and he refused to have received any money from me. That evil being even went as far suggesting I might have spent it. Well, I had to give a lot of explanation and had to hear about it for a long while. We didn’t go to him again, I saw him around a few times, he saw me too, there was no smile or warmth, I could clearly see the greed, it turns people into something else. The shop closed down as online recharge came to light.
It was a long time ago; I have had my share of experiences. There is an ATM where the shop used to be and on rare occasions I still go through the memory, and it still pinches a little.
Written by Anuran Chatterji
